How to see all inputs/outputs in node finder?

If I'm understanding what you are trying to achieve, you need to put a top level wrapper above these modules that will instantiate the modules you want. If you just tell it to use exampleMod1 as your top level, it isn't going to include 2 and 3 in the design.

Something like this:

module topWrapper (a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l);
  input a, b, e, f, i, j;
  output c, d, g, h, k, l;
 
exampleMod1 mod1 (
  .a, .b,
  .c, .d
);
 
exampleMod2 mod2 (
  .e, .f,
  .g, .h
);
 
exampleMod3 mod3 (
  .i, .j,
  .k, .l
);
 
endmodule

Hope that helps,

Andy